I was listening to a scene from one of my favorite shows; Everwood, and this specific scene got me thinking. Ephram, in this scene is talking about his tragic flaw, and that being the inability to change.
I used to think that my tragic flaw was my shyness, but after much deliberation in my head, I can see it's not my only flaw. I too, have the inability to change. I've tried to change, to make a plan and stick to it, but I still can't change. I always thought it was my surroundings that defined how I was; but that's not it at all.
It's my inability to change. Sure most people may have this flaw to a certain extent, some would never even notice, but inside us we all fear change at least a little bit.
Part of me just wants to go back in time, before anything HAD to change, and then never change again. I just don't feel that I am ready to make all these big changes. I still need time. I still need to grow up.
Honestly, I don't even see where my life is going to go. I don't know what, or who I want to be. I still need to figure it all out.
These are so normal and healthy things to ask yourself...some of us keep asking and we are in prime time of life and then some...whatever you do best and enjoy doing, keep on, keeping on with it and when it's time to see the big picture in life;it flashes on like a light bulb. Writing I have noticed is one of your best assets and I'm sure you have more. Change can be a silent thing just by doing your best...
ReplyDeleteand reaching a lttle further each day.
Keep your faith strong...
take care
bethann
I have learnt a lot more about you, Alex through reading your blog. I didn't realise you had one. What sort of friend am I? Anyway, I think I understand you a bit better now. In many ways I am a bit like you in that I am shy and hate change of any kind, but I am an optimist and that helps me. I would love to see you finish a novel. I think the ideas you have could really be developed. Good luck with it.
ReplyDeleteChristine xx